What TV show was that again?

Last night, I went to a benefit for my friend Jackie’s mom, who has MS. My delightful friend Stella asked me to be her date, and I was happy to oblige. We got there close to the starting time, after a few wrong turns in South Philly. The benefit was held at the Italian American Bocce Club, in deep South Philly. When we walked in, I realized that we were truly in a different place culturally than we had been 10 minutes earlier.

I think I was the only one there with freckles. And I felt very northern-euro-mutt.

At any rate, we bought raffle tickets and 50/50 tickets, ate some great food, chatted with some of Jackie’s other friends, and generally enjoyed people-watching. One of the string bands that plays in the New Year’s Day Mummer’s Parade performed – my first time seeing them. It reminded me of the Mardi Gras Indians in New Orleans, only these folks were all white. They played 3 or 4 songs, and all sorts of people danced. It seems like there’s only one dance, though, and it involves pumping your arms up and down and stepping forward and backwards. I think I could do better, but was too shy to shake my thang out there with all those folks.

The raffle was funny. There were 3 women who must have spent loads of money sticking tickets into the bags for each item, because each of them won 5 times! Jackie’s friend Melanie and her husbnand and little boy won the 50/50. They had to split their winnings with the friend who bought the ticket for her son. I won a gift certificate to Beau Monde restaurant – one of my favorites in the city, and one I haven’t been to in a long time. Stella is going to come with me, probably for a Sunday brunch. She, sadly, didn’t win a raffle. However, she DID get hit on in a most unseemly manner by a fella wearing a very orange flyers t-shirt. He leaned over her at the bar and leered, “Say darling, I’m the fashion police and I’m gonna have to bust you for looking so damn fine” (or something like that.) Then he gave her a sloppy old kiss on the neck. He didn’t do that to me. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or hurt….

Things I noticed: lots of perfect makeup, perfect shoes, perfect outfits, and perfect boob jobs. There were no hairdos – they were all coifs. And the sheer amount of ill-fitting clingy clothing was really rather stunning. I mean, one of the women who won several raffles (Marissa?) had on: Sarah Jessica Parker do-me mules, skin-tight white capris, a big chain thing attached to her belt for her wallet, an appropriate white belt, a skin-tight long-sleeved-top, and another white cropped tank over that (just barely covering her breasts). She’d had breat surgery, quite obviously, and had very large, very curly, very long hair. At one point she tottered past Stella and me, and said something like “I hope I win!”, to which I say, “Honey, you already won! Look at you!:

So that was my night in Italian-American South Philly, It was a night to remember.